Charlie Sheen doesn’t have a drug problem, says Charlie Sheen

At least one person is convinced that Charlie Sheen doesn’t have a drug problem.

That person is Charlie Sheen.

The troubled actor’s increasingly erratic behaviour has led to the cancellation of his inexplicably popular show Two and a Half Men. Sheen has recently been making the rounds of the talk show circuit protesting the decision to can his show and taking shots at the program’s creator, Chuck Lorre.

He appeared on NBC’s The Today Show and was asked, “Are you clean right now?” Sheen replied, “Look at me. Duh!”

Sheen also spoke with Piers Morgan on his CNN program Piers Morgan Tonight on Monday. When the host asked Sheen to explain what happened during his bender, Sheen said, “Which bender?”

He added, “I didn’t know there was going to be a math test.”

Sheen has also said that the decision to cancel Two and a Half Men puts people out of work and called Lorre a “retarded zombie.”

According to industry website Deadline.com and TMZ.com, Warner Bros. TV has agreed to pay lost wages for about 200 core crew members. They will be given their full salaries for four episodes of Two and a Half Men that were scheduled to begin production.

Sheen Quotes

On taking cocaine: “I’m not taking it, I had to pay for it.” (Piers Morgan Tonight)

On taking drugs in general: “I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.  (Good Morning America)

On why he’s clean now, and will be for a long time, without help: “I won’t do it. I don’t believe if I do something I have to follow a certain path. It was written for normal people. People that don’t have tiger blood and Adonis DNA.” (The Today Show)

On John Stamos possibly replacing him on Two and a Half Men: “I like John but he don’t have what I have and the show sucks if he’s on it. Sorry!” (The Today Show)

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