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Full nesters: How to make it work when your adult kids move back home because of the pandemic

Last Updated Nov 20, 2020 at 5:53 pm EST

Jag Jasani, a 34-year-old Toronto event planner, didn’t think he would ever be moving back into his parent’s Newmarket home. His sister lives there as well.

But when the pandemic hit, there were no events to cover, hence no income coming in. Jasani rented out his Yonge and Sheppard condo, packed his bags, and went to live with his parents. Jasani says his privacy has taken a hit but the benefits of living with his family have been a blessing.

“It’s given me an opportunity to get closer to my parents and my sister. They have been incredibly supportive of a 34-year-old moving back in. As you can imagine, it takes a bit of adjusting and they have been more than accommodating. Very helpful.” Jasani says.

Jasani is one of many adult children who have moved back into their parents’ home during the pandemic. According to a recent Finder survey, 6 per cent of adult children in Ontario have moved back in with their parents with another 1 per cent who are thinking about it. Also, 4 per cent of adult parents said their kids have moved back in with them, putting the province in first place for adults who have moved back home.

The founder and CEO of MeVest, Lesley-Anne Scorgie, says intergenerational living can be a beautiful thing but there need to be healthy boundaries.

Before adult children move in with their parents, everyone needs to sit down to discuss the fine details.

Scorgie suggests parents charge rent, so they aren’t taken advantage of, but that amount needs to be appropriate, taking you’re adult child’s current income into consideration.

“What it does is it sets expectations because in the real world everyone has to pay rent.” Scorgie says.

If money isn’t possible, adult children can help in different ways, Scorgie says, such as shovelling the snow, cleaning the house, or helping with a home business.

Other things to discuss, according to Scorgie, would be, is it okay to work out in the middle of the day in the living room? If four adults are streaming meetings all day because everyone is working, who is going to be held responsible for upgrading and paying for that internet package?

Jag Jasani, a 34-year-old Toronto man, has moved into his family’s Newmarket Home due to the pandemic.

The situation gets more complex when adult children and their kids are moving in as well.

Here are some things Scorgie says need to be discussed:

  • Who is going to be taking care of the kids during the day?
  • If a grandparent has agreed to take care of the grandkids, how many hours per day will they be doing it?
  • If a child drops spaghetti on the floor, who is cleaning up after them?

 

Finally, Scorgie says adult children need to discuss the timeline of this living arrangement.

“Whether this is a short or long-term solution, there has to be an end goal in mind. Are you going to use this opportunity to save up for a down payment? Maybe get into your first home faster or is it an opportunity for you to pay off dad?” Scorgie says.

Jasani has decided to take on another career completely. After going to school to study data science, he has just landed a job in the technology field. He says his tenant’s contract is up in August and so Jasani will be living with his parents until then.

“I’m very grateful for the circumstances afforded by my family. I am much closer to my parents. I am excited about my job and for the future,” Jasani says.