Barbie Heist: Return stolen movie poster so we won’t be ‘Ken-emies,’ Oakville cinema says

This could be a case for the ‘Pink Panther.’

An Oakville movie theatre has released video of a person stealing a Barbie movie poster.

But Film.ca Cinemas didn’t just post the surveillance footage.

That would be too artless for cinephiles.

Instead, they’ve released a short crime saga titled Barbie Heist, complete with suspenseful voiceover work and a trailer outlining past crimes at the cinema on Speers Road, including an ATM theft and a screen-slashing.

According to the auteur, this guy was a bit of an amateur.

“Did you really not see the cameras?” the film asks.

Film.ca says the culprit not only snagged a Barbie poster, but also Ninja Turtles and Mission Impossible ones.

It happened at around 3:39 a.m. on August 6.

The suspect however, seemed quite particular when it came to his silver screen preferences.

“In a surprising twist of events, the Barbie thief opts not to steal Oppenheimer, despite Christopher Nolan setting off real explosives instead of using computer generated imagery … this was still not enough to impress the Barbie thief to steal the Oppenheimer poster.”

He also passed on a poster for Haunted Mansion.

“Looks like critics agree with your choice there Barbie thief,” the film’s narrator adds over a graphic showing less-than-impressive critic rating average of 40 per cent on film review site Rotten Tomatoes.

Halton Police tell CityNews they have not been called about the theft.

The suspect wore a white hoodie, green Crocs, and drove a black hatchback.

Despite the theft of property, the cinema doesn’t seem like it wants the suspect cuffed.

“We don’t want to be Ken-emies,” it quipped. “If you could kindly return the posters, than would be more than K’nough.

Films.ca CEO, Jeff Knoll, later told CHCH that he didn’t believe an investigation was an appropriate use of police resources.

“The reality is the police have a lot more on their plates than to adjudicate the theft of three posters probably worth $75,” he said.

“I think the penalty is his friends and family …. will know who it is. I hope that’s enough to say you can’t get away with doing this.”

Knoll stressed that the cinema has dozens of high definition cameras on the property “so victimize us at your own peril.”

“We really want to draw attention to the ridiculousness of the situation and hopefully it’s a way to point out to this individual that doing this is just ridiculous and you look like a clown.”

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