The Blogs Of A Troubled Mind

And while they don’t completely untangle the mystery that is Kimveer Gill, they give an eerie insight into the thought processes that led him to his ultimate act.

That came Wednesday, when the 25-year-old drove his mother’s car to Dawson College in Montreal and began randomly shooting at students. It was to be his last message, after police moved in to subdue his murderous rampage.

Gill was into the Goth scene, a philosophy that looks on the dark side of life, despises authority, and is often preoccupied with violence and death. 

The writing on his blogs reflect that outlook, but some of them seem perfectly innocent, almost playful. Others are about nothing at all.

In one, he directs a message to his female readers. “Hey girls,” a note posted two days ago reads, “If you’re feeling down, buy a kitten and play with it, hope it’ll cheer you up some :). I wuv U.” 

But there’s a much darker side to a man who worshipped the dark side.

In another posting, also put up just two days before his final rampage, he railed against bullies and teachers, a frequent theme of past school killers.

“It’s not only the bully’s fault you know!!” it begins.

“It’s the teachers and principals fault for turning a blind eye, just cuz it’s not their job. You f******s are pathetic. It’s the police’s fault for not doing anything when people conplain (sic) (oops, my mistake, the cops are corrupt…so it’s not like they can do anything about it.)”

Another bizarre find is the sight of an improvised tombstone with Gill’s name on it. The words read ominously “Lived fast, died young. Left a mangled corpse.”

Those who knew the now deceased killer are stunned by what happened.

“When I saw the grave that he described on his Internet site — oh, my God,” avers Sylvie Gauthier, the shooter’s neighbour. “[It gave me] big chills, and I cannot believe it.”

Neighbours say the family lived at their current address for the last 15 years. All thought something was odd about the boy as he turned into a man. “I didn’t talk to him ever, but he looked a little strange, that haircut, that funny haircut,” recalls Louise Leykauf.

Gauthier grieves not only for the victims but the shooter’s parents. “You have that for the rest of your life,” she nods. “Even though you didn’t do it, you know it’s your child.”

Psychologists agree the writings reveal a very disturbed young man. “He didn’t think life was worth living,” assesses Dr. Jordan Peterson. “In fact he thought life was so much not worth living that the right thing to do about it was to wipe it out.

“He sees himself a dark hero, you know, and dark heroes destroy things.”

So why take out his rage on people he didn’t even know? Peterson believes that’s entirely within his character.  

“If you’re going to shoot someone and you want to make it maximally horrible, you shoot young, healthy people full of promise, right? That’s who you go after, because that’s the worst thing you can do.”

If Gill was a mystery to his neighbours, he also appears to have been something of a night owl. Many of his rants are listed as being posted in the middle of the night.

Here’s a random sample culled from his blog on vampirefreaks.com, messages that have since been removed. The spellings have been left intact. It starts with his final comment, posted two hours before he began firing.

Sept. 13, 2006, 10:41am

“Whiskey in the morning, mmmmmm, mmmmmmmmm, good !!

“Woke up 30 minutes ago. I hate having to wait for my contact lens cases to air dry, cuz’ they’re just sitting on my desk now, looking messy and all.

Lemme go see what’s to eat……….

eggs and toast. yum.

Sept. 13, 3:33am

German Metal German Metal
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

As you can tell, i got nothing of importance to write about today. Poor me.

Maybe I should stop writting useless stuff? Mmmmmmmm, interesting notion wouldn’t you say? LOL. (I will not take that advice, no sir, no, I will not

Sept. 12, 5:44am

“Jack Daniels Whiskey, straight, with ice of course.

Have I mentioned that i like to drink?
Bwahahahahahahaha

Sept 12,  5:00am

“It’s society’s fault for acting like it’s normal for people to be a******s to each other. Society disgusts me.

It’s everyone’s fault for being so apathetic towards.everything that doesn’t affect them personally.

F**K YOU SOCIETY.”

“Stop High School Bullying

Stop making fun of each other because of the clothes you wear, or the way people talk or act, or any other reasons you make fun of each other.

It’s all the jocks’ fault

JOCKS ARE NO GOOD

So Just Stop……………o.k.???”

Sept. 11, 5:37am

“Heard someone say “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with”. I disagree. Anyone who agrees with that statement is admitting to being an inferior human that can only understand physical gratification. This further proves my point, and justifies my views on people, life, and the human race.”

Sept. 10 5:23am

“Wonder why my household has been under surveillance by law enforcement for 6 years. Makes no sense to me!!

Oh, you’re wondering how I know?
lol
Bet you little monkeys are.
Everything everyone says or does against me is shown to me in my dreams, I see everything…God, you humans are so inferior.”

Sept. 10, 4:45am

“Hey vf babies, hope you’re all doing o.k.

Don’t cut yourselves, don’t cry, and definatley don’t kill yourselves. You’re my babies (hugs and teddy bears for all)

None of what you feel is your fault, it’s the worlds fault. It’s your parents fault, it’s the churches fault, it’s your classmates fault, it’s your co-workers fault, it’s gods fault, it’s societies fault, it’s those so called friends of yours (who arn’t really friends at all) fault.

My heart bleeds when i here about you hurting yourself, because of what the world has done.”

Sept. 1, 3:09am

“The governments of the world keep lieing to the people of the world, and the people believe it. Come on folks, WAKE UP!! They’re using fear tactics to keep you pacified, and all those who ask questions suddenly disappear. Am i the only one in the world who can see these things.

Guess I am :(“

And finally in a portent of things to come, Gill reports having taken two online tests. The first asked, “How likely are you to go postal?” The second, “Are you capable of killing?

“You have a 84% chance of going postal!

Er… well, you’re in the at-risk area. Best work out those anger issues. Join a gym, perhaps. Remember, no matter how moronic their genetic contributuion to the gene pool may be, subtle sterilization is a lot less messy.”

“Probability of killing, 86%

“You have killed someone, or tried to kill yourself many times. You may have many enemies and no one to help you. Over exposure to death will ultimately cause you to break easily. Consider yourself a danger to society. Seek professianal help immediately!”