How To Talk To Your Teen About Sex

It’s one of the hardest things to talk to your kids about without making them feel uncomfortable or embarrassed, but it’s an important discussion that could have a strong effect on some of the important sexual and relationship decisions your teenaged son or daughter may make.

Here are some tips on how to talk to your kids about sex:

When Is The Right Time To Talk?

According to the sexual health information website sexualityandu.ca, there’s no perfect time. Their experts advise that you take advantage of “teachable moments”.

They happen all the time: you see a pregnant woman on the street, a display case of condoms in the drug store, or a sexual scene in a movie. Use these moments to explain your feelings and values and then ask for their opinion.

How To Talk To Your Teen About Sex:

• Be prepared for rolling eyes and sarcastic comments
• Try inviting your child to share their own observations with you
• This should be a discussion and not a lecture

Here are some ways sexualityandu.ca advises you start the conversation:

-Are most of the kids in your class talking about sex? Are some of them doing it?
-Do you think there are any advantages to having sex earlier? Later?”
-Have you ever thought about when you might be ready to have sex? What do you think makes a person ready?
-Has anyone in your school become pregnant? Do you think you lose anything by becoming pregnant so early in life?
-Do you think some people have sex just to impress their friends or to keep up with the crowd? Can you see any risks in such behaviour?

• Remember to respect and LISTEN to your child’s opinion.
• When telling your child how you feel about teen sex, make sure you explain why you feel that way.
• You don’t have to cover every aspect of teen sex in one conversation, just remember to make yourself available to your child and keep the lines of communication open

Preventing Risky Sexual Behaviour

Here are some issues and facts that both parents and teens should be aware of ( courtesy of sexualityandu.ca):

• Some teens don’t know enough about condoms to protect themselves from pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections (STIs). They seem to believe that they are invincible. If you can’t share a personal experience, then educate them through books or ask for assistance from a public health nurse or your physician or other professional.
• Discuss the risks of STIs and getting tested. As with any disease, prevention is important, but early diagnosis is very important.
• Make sure that your child knows that if they are going to have sex, condoms are the only contraceptive that can effectively prevent STIs.
• Birth control pills and other contraceptive methods are used to prevent pregnancy, not disease.
• If they are having sex, try to stress the fact that monogamy is much safer. Variety is not the spice of life!
• Serial monogamy, that is, having one relationship after another, also has risks of sexually transmitted infections.
• Although there hasn’t been much publicity, hepatitis B is increasingly common and vaccination programs are now widespread. More than 3000 new cases were diagnosed in Canada in 1994 alone. See your doctor with your child for more information on prevention and treatment. A vaccine against hepatitis B is now available.
• All sexually active girls should have Pap smear tests. Your daughter should know that this test can detect cervical cancer, and is a test that should be done on an annual basis for their protection.
• Detection of sexually transmitted infections, such as chlamydia and gonorrhea, is not done with the Pap smear test and the patient should discuss with her physician about appropriate testing.