Graphic Internet Videos Leave Parents In A Quandary

A child can easily find gory material online, but coming across questionable material unintentionally is not an uncommon experience for web surfers both young and old.

CityNews New Media Specialist Amber MacArthur managed to come across some disturbing content very quickly, including video of a young man who set himself on fire and a number of highly graphic pornographic sites.

“There are millions of sites like this because as far as the Internet, pornography is really how the Internet was built up and it is a multi-billion-dollar industry,” MacArthur explained.

“A 12-year-old could probably find it faster than I can because they’re really Internet savvy.”

The violent “fight club” videos involving teens from around Ontario, including Orangeville, Barrie and Toronto have also raised concerns about teens getting involved in dangerous activities in order to have something to post on the Web.

The massive amounts of material on the Internet may make protecting your kids seem like a daunting task, but MacArthur said there are kid-friendly browsers that can sift out the shocking sites and she recommends keeping the family computer in an easily accessible area of the house so you can always check in and see where your child is surfing.

Here are some Internet safety tips:

• If the family only has one computer, keep it in a visible place where you can see what they’re doing.
• If they plan to go into chat rooms, remind them of the number one unbreakable rule – under no circumstances can they ever give out personal information, such as their real name, age, address, gender, email contact, passwords, credit cards or phone number. They should also never agree to meet with anyone they “talk” to.
• Never let them go into ‘private areas’ in chat rooms.
• If someone tries to get their names or sends them questionable content, contact police and your Internet service provider. They may be able to trace the user.
• Familiarize yourself with short forms teens often use online. “P.O.S.”, for example, stands for “Parent Over Shoulder”. It indicates they don’t want to let you see what they’re doing.
• Install a program like Net Nanny to keep young surfers away from sites you don’t want them to see.
• Tell your children to choose pseudonyms that are gender neutral, to further hide who they are.
• Limit their time online. There are other things in life, like sports, homework and friends.
• Remember the computer is yours, not theirs. You paid for it, so you get to say what it’s used for. Don’t be afraid to take away your child’s surfing privileges if they don’t play by your rules.

Here’s a checklist of questions you and they should be asking, courtesy of the Media Awareness.ca, a non-profit organization that aims to increase Internet literacy.

Checklist for parents
(The preferred answer is ‘yes’. But if you respond with a no, you should reconsider how you’re monitoring your kids online.)

• Are you involved in your kids’ online activities? Do you know what they are doing and who they are talking to when they are on the Internet?
• Does your family have a set of rules or an agreement for appropriate Internet use?
• Do your kids know to ask permission before submitting any personal information online? This includes: when using e-mail, chat rooms or instant messaging, filling out registration forms and personal profiles, and entering online contests.
• Do you try to not be too critical of your kids’ activities on the Net and use their Internet experiences as an opportunity to discuss inappropriate content, trust and responsibility?
• Do you make Internet use a family activity by guiding your kids to good sites and teaching them how to do safe, effective searches?
• Have you taught your kids not to believe everything they read online and to check online information with an adult or with another source?
• If your child accesses the Internet from school or your local library, are you familiar with their acceptable use policies?
• Do you look at the privacy policies on the commercial Web sites your kids visit to check what kind of personal information is gathered and if it may be sold to another party?
• To make your monitoring job easier, have you placed your connected computer in a well-used public area of your house, such as a family room or kitchen?
• If your child has her/his own Web site, have you checked to make sure it doesn’t contain personal information that will identify her or him?
• Have you talked to your kids about responsible online behaviour? Do they understand that stealing from Web sites, downloading pirated software, making online threats and hacking are illegal activities?

Checklist for teens
(The preferred answer is ‘yes’. Any ‘no’ responses should have you reconsidering your actions.)

• I know how to protect my privacy on the Internet by not sharing personal details in chatrooms, newsgroups or instant messaging. This includes my name, gender, age, address, e-mail address, telephone number, picture, credit card information or passwords.
• I talk to my parents about what I’m doing online and who I chat with.
• I read the privacy policies on Web sites before filling out online registration or contest forms to make sure they will not be sharing my information.
• If I encounter disturbing material or harassing messages online, I don’t respond. I tell a parent or another adult and my Internet Service Provider.
• If I am planning to meet an online acquaintance in real life, I get permission from a parent first. I arrange the meeting for a public place and I don’t go alone.
• I try to confirm that online information is correct by finding out more about the author and by checking it against other sources.
• I respect others online. I never “flame” or insult others or spread gossip.
• I know the following activities are illegal and I don’t practice them: hacking, making physical threats and downloading pirated software.
• I respect copyright by not stealing from other Web sites or using plagiarized material for homework assignments.
• I check with my parents before making financial transactions online, including purchasing, ordering or selling anything.

Checklist for kids
(The preferred response is ‘yes’. If your kids give a ‘no’ talk to them about what they should – and shouldn’t be doing online.

• I ask my parents’ permission before giving out any personal information on the Internet, including: my sex, name, phone number, address, e-mail, school name, my parents’ work address/telephone numbers, credit card information, my picture and my passwords.
• I only use chat rooms for kids that my parents have checked out for me.
• When I’m online I always use a nickname that doesn’t reveal anything about me – including if I am a boy or girl.
• If an online message makes me feel uncomfortable or frightened, I don’t respond to it. Instead I tell an adult right away.
• If I want to arrange a meeting with someone I’ve met on the Internet, I tell my parents first and make sure one of them comes with me.
• I treat people nicely when I’m online and never post or send rude messages or threats.
• I always ask permission from the author before taking words, pictures or sounds from a Web site.
• I use Web sites and search engines for kids that my parents, teacher or librarian have told me about.
• I know that things I read online aren’t always true so I check the information with a parent or teacher.
• I always check with an adult before opening e-mails from strangers.

Courtesy and copyright Media-Awareness.ca