Tribes Program Can Reduce Bullying

Silvercreek Public School in Georgetown, which has about 1,000 pupils, has adopted a philosophy that’s been proven to boost grades, attendance records, stomp out bullying, and improve the general well-being of the student body.

It’s called the Tribes program and it’s based on the idea that children must learn to work together in long-term groups, or tribes, in order to learn how to respect and care for their fellow classmates.

The theory seems to be having a profound effect on the students at the Georgetown school, from the smallest to those in the senior grades.

A five-year-old student named Sophie was able to sum up the premise of the program very nicely: “If you be nice to them, then they’ll be nice to you.”

The number of schools using the Tribes program is growing every  year. The program started in the United States in the 1970s and has been spreading ever since.

A Grade 8 student named Kendra has the experience to measure Tribes’ success by; she’s attended four different schools in her educational career so far.

“There’s a lot more respect at a school with Tribes, I’ve realized,” she explained.

Students are taught that mutual respect and not bullying, is the best way to work and learn with others and each pupil must sign Tribes agreements of respect, attentive listening and no put-downs.

Principal Wendy Harrison says the program has been a great success at her school, which despite its high population, has an atmosphere of calm.

“We have very little bullying, very, very little,” she said.

“If you are listening carefully to somebody and then you get to know them and understand them, how can you bully them?”

For more on the Tribes program, visit the website tribes.com

Not all schools are lucky enough to have the Tribes program in place and there may be some instances of bullying at your child’s school.

Here’s a look at some suggestions on how to spot which child is being taken advantage of, what to do about it and how to stop the harassment for good, courtesy L’Arche Canada.

Symptoms a bullied child may show:

• Become quiet and withdrawn at home
• Talk little about school
• Become more aggressive with siblings
• Become moody and bad tempered
• Take an unusual route to school
• Seem sad whenever they arrive home from school
• Come home with cuts, bruises or torn clothes
• ‘Lose’ favourite clothes or possessions (the bully stole them)
• Lose their appetite
• Be ravenous when they arrive home from school (the bully demanded their lunch or lunch money)
• Not want to go to school
• Suffer insomnia or bad dreams
• Stop inviting friends home and stop receiving invitations from friends
• Avoid leaving the house
• Seem increasingly anxious and experience headaches, stomach-aches, or other ailments
• Talk about changing schools or moving

What do to if a child is being bullied:

• Create opportunities for your child to talk to you. With a good, open rapport, your child will be more likely to disclose difficult problems or concerns. Encourage your child to report bullying incidents to you.
• Listen attentively to your child and gather facts. Record the facts – they will be needed when communicating with school personnel.
• Let your child know you will be there for them and that they are not alone. Ensure they know that at home, they are loved and accepted.
• Reassure your child the bullying is not their fault and they do not deserve to be bullied.
• Teach a bully-proofing strategy, for example, assertiveness. (Your child should face their bully by standing tall, looking them in the eye and using a strong voice. Experts suggest using “I want” statements such as, “I WANT you to stop that!” or “I WANT you to leave me alone!”
• Help your child to understand that passivity in response to a bully, only invites further torment.
• Rehearse the strategy with your child until they feel comfortable using it.
• Help your child find at least one supportive, loyal friend. Welcome your child’s friends into your home.
• Continue to monitor the situation by asking your child frequently for up-dates.
• Step in, if the situation seems dangerous or if your child continues to suffer.
• Find out what policies and procedures exist at the school for dealing with bullying situations.
• Report the bullying to school authorities and follow up to determine what is being done to stop it. Adults in the school
  environment need to be made aware of the extent of the bullying, where it happens, when it happens and its impact on your child. Only then will they be able to implement measures to protect your child and discipline the bully. Insist that they do.
• Teach your child self-defence or enroll them in self-defence classes. This will increase their confidence and help them to overcome their fear.
• Teach your child to know when to run – it could save their life.
• If your child is assaulted, inform the police.
• If necessary, consider changing your child’s school.

What parents can do if they suspect their child is a bully:

• Take bullying seriously. Understand what bullying is and the harm it can do – to other children as well as to your child.
• Don’t defend or encourage bullying behaviour or excuse it as normal.
• Teach your child the importance of resolving conflict in non-aggressive ways.
• Teach the values of respect, compassion and tolerance for others – even for those your child might view as ‘different’.
• Don’t model or condone bullying behaviour.
• Eliminate physical punishment in your home. Research shows bullies are often raised in environments where physical punishment is common, thus teaching children to resolve their problems in a physical manner.
• Limit your child’s exposure to violent media.
• Spend positive time with your child daily, keeping the lines of communication open.
• Know your child’s friends.
• Work with your child’s school as an ally to determine an appropriate course of action.
• Network with other parents to stay informed.
• Consider professional counselling for your child.

Source: L’Arche Canada