How To Deal With Your Child’s Temper Tantrum
Posted February 19, 2008 12:00 pm.
This article is more than 5 years old.
Angry, frustrated, anxious and terrified. And that’s just how parents feel. But temper tantrums are a normal part of childhood that kids thankfully, finally, grow out of.
There are a lot of ways to deal with a screaming toddler in a public place, but not all of them are effective. Some methods may do more harm than good.
One mom, Charmaine, describes her daugther’s outbursts as “just horrific.” She can’t stand “watching her throw herself on the ground, and, you know, stamp her their feet and scream. Sometimes I feel like it goes on forever.”
Her daughter’s take? Four-year-old Octavia says it works, but her mom is quick to disagree.
And that’s a good thing, says Child and Family Therapist Jennifer Kolari. The best thing a parent can do is not give in.
Which may work fine in the kitchen or playroom, but how do you handle a child who has a meltdown in the mall? “When it happens in public, parents often panic.” And a common technique rarely works.
“Which we often do is that we start with the teeth.” Kolari says that forcing words past a clenched jaw “shows our kids that we’re anxious, that we’re not in the control.”
It’s best to get down to eye level with the child and speak calmly.
Kolari’s first tip is not to work too hard on the tantrum itself. Children “learn to calm themselves down.”
Tip number 2: “Don’t give in. They’ll learn that it doesn’t work.”
To prevent a rant before it starts, watch for signals. If your child is getting “edgy, crunchy and prickly”, that’s when it’s time for active play. Kolari recommends a tickle or a game of hide and seek to get that energy out.
For Jennifer Kolari’s tips to temper tantrums before they become too disruptive, check out Cynthia’s blog.
Here’s some other handy advice about tempering the tantrums before they become too disruptive.
The nine different types of tantrums
How to keep your head during a tantrum
