New documentary explores ‘non-traditional’ families

The face of Canadian families is changing. In a series of reports and in an upcoming documentary “Thoroughly Modern Families”, Citytv is looking at non-nuclear families. Households that may not look like the “norm” but are fighting to be seen and heard.

For the majority of Canadians, the formula typically goes something like this: You meet one person, date, fall in love, marry and eventually have kids to create a family. But a growing group of others are following different paths.

Over the course of several months, I followed a different group of Canadians who have their own rules when it comes to creating a family. So, what makes a family and who gets to decide it? That’s what this film explores.

The idea came to me after a close friend came out to tell me she was polyamorous. I had heard the term before but hadn’t deeply explored it.

The short definition describing people who are polyamorous is they don’t limit themselves to loving just one person. This should not be confused with being a polygamist or in an open relationship. As we’ve explored in other news articles, there is a huge difference. People in polyamorous relationships or families don’t have a hierarchy or follow religious mandates.

Each person involved is doing so on their own free will openly. Many people falsely believe it’s driven by sexual desires only. We discovered that’s not the case either.

After several months of research, I learned my friend was part of a growing group. The number of people coming out as being polyamorous is increasing as society is slowly becoming more accepting of it.

Citytv casted a wide net to find people willing to share their stories. The documentary follows a triad, three people living together under the same rules as a monogamous couple, who live in rural Ontario. The crew spent several days to document their home life, exploring how it works and the challenges and stigmas they face in what is still a very traditional monogamous world.

The documentary also dives into parenting. A mom in Kitchener talks about what it’s like to parent two kids while also being polyamorous. The crew also followed another woman who’s poly and Black. The film examines the struggles for minorities in the lifestyle.

But the film also goes beyond the world of non-monogamy.

There are other models of families that fall outside of what society has deemed “the norm.”

Platonic, or co-parenting, is a growing lifestyle. For many people, that means creating a connection on the sole basis of having kids.

There are now several websites connecting people who want children without marriage.

The documentary crew followed a couple in Toronto who share a home, two kids but no romantic or sexual connection. Through them, we’re able to understand that the definition of family—most of us were raised to believe—doesn’t work for everyone.

What I learned is more and more Canadians are choosing paths and creating families that fit them even though it strays from societal norms.

For me, filming this documentary was eye opening. I hope it is for you too. It really gives you an up close and personal look at people who maybe your neighbours – or even friends – and are just following different paths.

“Veracity: Thoroughly Modern Families” airs Sunday January 30th at 9 p.m. only on Citytv.