Platonic parents share children, home and family, with no romantic connection

The face of Canadian families is changing. In a series of reports and in an upcoming documentary “Thoroughly Modern Families”, Citytv is looking at non-nuclear families. Households that may not look like the “norm” but are fighting to be seen and heard.

Now, we explore another type of family.

If you saw Sarah MacDonald and Bino Tarahi with their two kids in a park, you wouldn’t think twice about the kind of family they are.

“When people see us in public, they just assume we’re a married couple with kids,” MacDonald said.

But there’s more you may not know based on appearances. This Toronto mom and dad share a special bond, but without the romance.

“The only thing they don’t know is that we are both gay,” Tarahi said. “I mean, we had two kids and no sex.”

MacDonald and Tarahi are platonic parents, also known as co-parents. For them, that means raising their sons, Adaan and Siwan together — under one roof — but they share no romantic connection.

“The only real difference in our relationship is sex. No romantic touch between us.”

Years ago, they met on a website that connects people looking for kids, minus the romance. While Bino and Sarah are gay, platonic parenting is not limited to the 2SLGBTQ+ community.

“Platonic parenting is growing all around the world and for people of all sexual orientation. We’ve seen an increase,” said Ivan Fatovich who owns and operates Modamily.

Much like a dating app, the company connects people who are looking to have kids, with or without the romance, and many of his clients are Canadian.

So why such a huge uptick in members these days?

“People are very busy with careers,” Fatovich said. “Maybe they haven’t found the one, or they just haven’t found the person that they want to marry, but they want to have children. They just don’t want to do it alone.”

MacDonald and Tarahi did try to find a romantic partner to build a family.

“And I didn’t get that in my dating before,” MacDonald said. “I was with a partner but she did not want to have kids. I realized I was getting older, my biological clock was ticking so I went this route.”

“I always had the dream of having a family, but I never even thought it could happen or how it would happen,” Tarahi said.

Many co-parents choose to live separately and share time with the kids based on a mutually agreed schedule. That was the original plan for MacDonald and Tarahi, but they wanted something more.

“We live in one home that has two separate apartments,” Tarahi explained. The two apartments are connected by a shared staircase.

“It’s very free flowing. We have our own space but the kids can move from apartment to apartment,” MacDonald said.

Now that they’ve found each other, neither would change the arrangement. But what about the challenges? While both are currently single, what happens if a love interest comes along?

“The dynamic we have may change if I or Sarah start dating seriously.”

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In an upcoming documentary called Thoroughly Modern Families, we’ll explore more of their life. They join others — following different paths — that fall outside of the traditional definitions for family.

“What the definition of family for some people might not be the official definition for me or for us,” Tarahi shared.

“Veracity: Thoroughly Modern Families” airs Sunday January 30th at 9 p.m. only on Citytv.