Review: Robin Hood

The last time I fell asleep in a movie theatre was back in 1996 while sitting through the terrible Dennis Quaid fantasy film DragonHeart. Ridley Scott’s Robin Hood not only had me dozing off pretty much from the start, it practically put me in a coma. And I thought it couldn’t get any worse than the 1991 Kevin Costner debacle Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves when it came to telling this story (on the bright side at least this one had no cheesy Bryan Adams song).

Robin Longstride (Russell Crowe) is an archer in King Richard’s (Danny Huston) army fighting the French. When King Richard dies, Robin and his group of renegade archers (the Merry Men) run away and eventually end up in the town of Nottingham. There Robin is asked by Sir Walter Loxley (Max von Sydow) to pretend to be his deceased son Robert in order to protect Robert’s wife Marion (Cate Blanchett) from losing their land. The new King of England, John (Oscar Isaac), you see, is a jerk, letting power go to his head and taxing people beyond their means. And if they can’t pay he takes everything from them.

What the movie goes on to tell in a matter of 2.5 hours could have easily been wrapped up in 1.5. I still don’t know who the heck Robin Longstride really is, where he came from, or why they call him Robin Hood (it is briefly and incomprehensibly mentioned near the end). The bad guy, Godfrey (Mark Strong), is a traitor working with the French but it’s never explained why. All the Merry Men might as well have been played by hunks of meat as they have no development whatsoever. Same with Marion, Friar Tuck (Mark Addy), the Sheriff of Nottingham (Matthew Macfadyen). It wouldn’t be so bad if the action made up for the lack of a concise script, but even that falls flat and made me yawn (and for an archer, I notice Robin doesn’t shoot too many arrows).

Considering the great job Crowe and Scott did working together on Gladiator — which had a decent story, amazing action sequences, and an excellent performance by Crowe — it’s quite a shame they couldn’t have brought that same vibe to this. Here Crowe looks bored and Scott’s direction comes across as sloppy. Strong’s efforts are flat and monotonous, and it could be because he’s played the same character (albeit better) in recent films Sherlock Holmes and Kick-Ass. I find it hard to believe any of them would do something just for a paycheque so one needs to ask what went wrong?

Long, boring, and uninspired is the best description I can come up with for this new Robin Hood. If you want a much better version of the story, pick up Errol Flynn’s 1938 classic The Adventures of Robin Hood. Even the 1973 animated Disney version is better than this, which is not saying much. Hopefully we won’t have to wait another 20 years for someone to take another crack at the character and give us a version to adore.

* out of 5 stars

Rated PG
Cast: Russell Crowe, Cate Blanchett, Mark Strong
Directed by:  Ridley Scott
Official Site IMDb

brian.mckechnie@citynews.rogers.com

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Top image: A scene from Robin Hood. Courtesy Universal Studios.