The Worst Song Lyrics Of All Time

At last, a contest you can enter without shame. Well sort of.  The staid old BBC in the U.K. is about to reveal the answer to the question the world has waited minutes for – the stupidest lyric ever written in a pop song. The contest, created by a disc jockey named Marc Riley, has seen no shortage of entrants.

Among those in contention: an Oasis song called “Champagne Supernova,” which features the immortal lines: “Slowly walking down the hall/Faster than a cannonball.”

Some of the entrants are solely British and didn’t necessarily get a lot of play here. And judging by the words, that’s a good thing.

Check out Duran Duran’s nomination: “And firey demons all dance when you walk through that door, Don’t say you’re easy on me you’re about as easy as a nuclear war.” That comes from the aptly titled tune Is There Something I Should Know?

A group called ABC is in the running for its seminal stinker in That Was Then, But This Is Now: “Can’t complain, mustn’t grumble/Help yourself to another piece of apple crumble.”

“I have been waiting for this kind of accolade for years,” lead singer Martin Fry boasts. “The most memorable lyrics are often the stupidest.”

Even the world’s biggest group isn’t spared the ignominy.

“I’ve got no self control,
Been living like a mole now,
Going down, excavation,
High and high in the sky,
You make me feel like I can fly,
So high,
Elevation.”

That gem comes from U2’s Elevation, which obviously didn’t elevate them high enough.

But we here at SBT have to give the nod to the German group Snap for their unbeatable thoughts in Rhythm Is A Dancer: “I’m as serious as cancer, When I say Rhythm is a Dancer.”

So who’ll win this bizarre battle of the bands? In case you want to sing along, you can find the answer here.

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