Review: Machete

Let’s not beat around the bush here — Machete is a violent, bloody, B-movie romp of bad taste that is not going to appeal to a large audience. The niche audience it’s made for, however — the same people who flocked to see the Quentin Tarantino-Robert Rodriguez double feature Grindhouse back in 2007 (which included a fake trailer that spawned the idea for Machete) — are going to cherish this insanely wild flick and will want to see it in a rowdy theatre full of cheering fans more than once.

Machete (Danny Trejo) is a bad-ass Mexican Federale who chops people up with a blade better than chef Gordon Ramsey can dice an onion with a Wüsthof. When he refuses to be paid off by the drug lord Torrez (Steven Seagal), Torrez and his thugs murder his wife and child and leave Machete for dead inside a burning house. Years later and Machete, now an illegal immigrant doing day labour in Texas, is offered $150,000 by a man named Booth (Jeff Fahey) to assassinate the right-wing anti-Mexican bigot Senator McLaughlin (Robert De Niro). The job is botched and Machete is once again on the run, slicing up people along the way to find the bad guy and clear his name.

It’s hard to imagine any other actor playing this part other than Trejo. He IS Machete. I’m sure in real life he’s a nice guy, but onscreen he’s scary and believable and if I was ever to meet him on the street I’d probably run the other way. The rest of the cast is also pitch perfect. Besides De Niro and Fahey, Don Johnson plays a disturbingly creepy Mexican-hunting redneck, and Lindsay Lohan convincingly plays a spoiled rich girl with a drug problem. Michelle Rodriguez’s tough chick Luc, and Jessica Alba’s portrayal of immigration officer Sartana, are also solid performances by the two actresses. And Cheech Marin’s role as a gun-totting Padre makes me eat what I said about him in my review of The Perfect Game where I suggested he never be allowed to play a member of the church again. This time it’s fitting.

Directed by Rodriguez and newcomer Ethan Maniquis, Machete pays great homage to the films that inspired it and uses some of the same techniques Rodriguez and Tarantino used on Grindhouse. Signs of intended film scratches and colour changes are present, and the soundtrack is very reminiscent of exploitation films from the ‘70s (when Machete is about to get romantic with a lady, the music turns to the typical “bow-chicka-bow-wow” porno sound even). It’s all part of the whole experience of this type of movie and it’s what makes Machete so fun. The film also touches on immigration issues and politics, but really, when your main character uses someone’s intestines to swing out a window, any decent message is lost.

If over-the-top violence mixed with some very cheesy yet great dialogue is what you want, then Machete will put a smile on your face and make you stand up and cheer in the aisles. I, for one, will be going to see it again in the theatre as soon as I can.

**** out of 5 stars

Rated 18A
Cast: Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Steven Seagal, Michelle Rodriguez
Directed by:  Robert Rodriguez and Ethan Maniquis
Official Site IMDb

brian.mckechnie@citynews.rogers.com

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