Top 10 Stupidest Christmas Gifts Of 2008 Revealed

Looking for the perfect gift for someone hard to please this Christmas? Or how about something for someone you don’t want to please?

You’ll find both at stupid.com, an online store devoted to the dumbest possible Xmas gifts anywhere on the planet. The site has revealed its top 10 list of the worst possible presents for the holidays, and unfortunately for you, they do ship to Canada.

You’ll pay more for the soaring exchange rate, but what’s a few bucks at a time when you can insult your friends with the worst thing they ever received? It also shows that when it comes to offering consumers the weird and the wacky, money truly is no object.

Here’s a look at the 2008 list in reverse order (all prices in U.S. funds).

10) Pole Dancer Alarm Clock
This will wake you up with a start. As the alarm sounds, dance music begins to play to the accompaniment of disco lights. And the well endowed blonde starts gyrating around the pole as a disco ball spins over her head (top left). If you’ve got  to wake up in the morning, at least now there’s a good reason. Yours for just $25.99.

9) 2009 Dog Poop Calendar
Yes, it’s true – someone actually made this into a 12-month display. Every page features a beautiful photograph that’s blighted by dog droppings appearing in the middle of it. Haven’t they heard of stoop and scoop? This thing is $13.95 and will make your year seem a lot longer.

8) “How To Tie A Tie” Tie
At last! The solution every guy has been searching for. The instructions for how to get that neck strangulation device properly affixed is actually printed on the tie itself. Although how you’re supposed to follow those directions when you’re putting it on is your problem. $14.99.

7) Barack Obama “Yes We Can” Opener
What would America be without someone cashing in on the most historic election in its history? And now they have, taking the phrase made famous by president-elect Barack Obama and turning it into something useful – a can opener. Coming soon: Joe Biden toilet paper. Just $5.99.

6) Men’s Underwear Repair Kit
It’s as practical as it is foolish. But as women know, guys will wear their favourite things until they’re basically just threads. They may want to get them this gift, which contains a needle and thread, iron-on patches, duct tape, white out and safety pins. We’d be a bit careful about where you put those safety pins, though. The kit will repair $9.95 from your wallet.

5) Wasabi Gumballs
Yes, it’s everything you’ve ever wanted in a piece of gum – and less. If you think something’s fishy about this concoction, wait till you taste it. The makers swear it’s actually delicious. It will cost you $3.99 to find out.

4) Potty Putter
Why waste your time reading while you’re busy with other business? You can practice your putting instead, making you the Tiger Woods of the john. The set comes complete with a putting green that fits around standard toilets, the putter itself, a flag stick and two small golf balls. You can be flushed with success for just $21.99.

3) Mini Guitar Hero
Can’t afford the larger size of one of the world’s most popular games? This may be your solution. Or not. The cheap guitar is 6 inches long and lets you ‘play’ 10 tunes, including “Smoke on the Water” and “Killer Queen.” One song that’s not included is Pink Floyd’s “Money,” which is a good thing. Buy this for $14.99 and you won’t see that cash again.

2) Wealth Redistribution 2008 Holiday Ornament
It’s the perfect gift for hard times. Essentially, it hangs on your tree with a message explaining why you were too cheap to get someone something to use on old Tannenbaum this year. “Your holiday ornament has been redistributed to someone else,” it explains. “This other person, for whatever reason, did not get one.” But you can for $3.99.

1)  Screaming Chicken, A.K.A. The World’s Most Annoying Toy
It has come down to this, what the vendors call the most annoying toy of all time. Squeeze the chicken’s neck and it exudes a scream that sounds like a woman shrieking. Perfect for someone you can’t stand who has kids that won’t stop playing with it. And it’s cheaper than getting them a drum set! Requires no batteries or electricity, which is a good thing, because you wouldn’t want to waste any more than the $9.99 it costs to purchase it.

Photo courtesy: stuipd.com